Don't get me wrong, I love the idea of Valentine's Day. A time to celebrate love, loved ones, lovers...however, why are we just celebrating for one day? In reality, shouldn't we be doing this all year round?
I have not always been Negative Nelly (term stolen from Girls on the Run) about Valentine's Day. In fact, before this year, I was definitely an advocate for the love fest. This year something clicked. I have officially become a nay-sayer about celebrating love on this one special day and this one special day only.
It hit me as I was headed to the gym (the gym by my school...not the closest to me...actually probably the farthest away...but the one where people have let go of their New Year's resolutions which makes it therefore, fairly empty). The way to the gym is a long straight shot down Fullerton Avenue, the street where no one carries insurance and where everyone drives like maniacs. Coming back from my tangent...Fullerton Avenue was littered by an abundance of fluffy, plush, stuffed animals; pink gorillas, white teddy bears, and red dogs as well as red roses suffocated by a barrage of baby's breath. The question that repeated itself like a strobe light every time I drove by one of these stands, which was every block, was "What grown female or male would want love in the form of baby's breath and/or a stuffed monkey?" I'm sure there are a few but enough to evoke this much junk on the side of the street!?! Yes, cute to give to a child to celebrate a day of love. No, not cute to give to an adult.
Which brings me to my next question or rather point...the dinner. Question: What do adults to do on Valentine's Day if the stuffed animals are overrated and out? Answer: Why, go to dinner of course! Dinner at a fancy restaurant...usually a step or two above the norm. Example: If White Castle is where you take your dates, you might end up at Applebee's. If Long John Silver's if your norm, Red Lobster would be your upgrade. If a couple happens to be going to a restaurant where reservations are needed, make sure to call ahead...somewhere around the two week mark ahead. This will ensure your place at a pre-packaged, overly packed, usually fantastic place. Not only will the couple not get the best the restaurant has to offer but they will most likely not even get a choice of menu item. On top of all of that wonderfulness, a ton of expectations are laid like a blanket on the couple the second they walk through the door...sometimes even before they walk through the door...such as a photographer waiting patiently outside to capture the awkward Valentine's Day for all couples. What would normally be considered a great date at a great restaurant has now conveniently turned into awkward conversation and hopes for the future over an overpriced meal.
24.2.10
28.9.09
chuck realization
Didn't think too much about dinner and drinks with an ex last week, I stay friends with almost all of my exes...I guess I'm just that girl. I knew that my ex was still dating the girl he met right after we broke up (um about 2.5 years ago) and I assumed he was planning on telling me they lived together.
After about an hour long conversation...just catching up here's how the conversation went:
A-So are you living with new girlfriend now?
C-Oh yeah, it's been a while.
A-Wow, that's great! I will forever live with a boyfriend before marriage chuckle under breath
C-Yeah, marriage. Did I tell you that my brother and his longtime girlfriend are getting married?
A-Actually you did mention that...that's amazing, she is such a great girl.
C-They are getting married next June when she graduates from Vet school.
A-And you? You have been with your girl now for, what is it now, 2.5 years? Are you engaged yet?
C-Oh, haha, yeah.
A-big smile Really!?! That's awesome! When are you getting married?
C-Two weeks, October 10...
A-did not hear anything for about 5 minutes after that because the shock had set in...
C-I'm surprised mutual friend didn't tell you...
A-I guess it wasn't on her priority list...she does have two small ones now and you're not the center of her world
This was all the confirmation I needed to know and believe that I am officially "Good Luck Chuck" but for guys. Almost every boyfriend that I have had since sophomore year of college and one even before that have married the girl they dated after me...well, the ones that believe in marriage anyway.
Yep...went through the list again...still true.
With that being said...the streak stops now! From this point forward, I will no longer be "Good Luck Chuck." Instead, roles will be reversed and I am passing the torch to the last guy I dated and no, we are actually not friends...which is why this works really well...he will now be Good Luck Chuck...mwahahaha
If you would like to join me...I am getting together with a group of friends on this wonderful day of October 10...downtown Chicago...to celebrate the passing of the torch. Good-bye Good Luck Chuck status...bring on the Mrs. degree. :)
After about an hour long conversation...just catching up here's how the conversation went:
A-So are you living with new girlfriend now?
C-Oh yeah, it's been a while.
A-Wow, that's great! I will forever live with a boyfriend before marriage chuckle under breath
C-Yeah, marriage. Did I tell you that my brother and his longtime girlfriend are getting married?
A-Actually you did mention that...that's amazing, she is such a great girl.
C-They are getting married next June when she graduates from Vet school.
A-And you? You have been with your girl now for, what is it now, 2.5 years? Are you engaged yet?
C-Oh, haha, yeah.
A-big smile Really!?! That's awesome! When are you getting married?
C-Two weeks, October 10...
A-did not hear anything for about 5 minutes after that because the shock had set in...
C-I'm surprised mutual friend didn't tell you...
A-I guess it wasn't on her priority list...she does have two small ones now and you're not the center of her world
This was all the confirmation I needed to know and believe that I am officially "Good Luck Chuck" but for guys. Almost every boyfriend that I have had since sophomore year of college and one even before that have married the girl they dated after me...well, the ones that believe in marriage anyway.
Yep...went through the list again...still true.
With that being said...the streak stops now! From this point forward, I will no longer be "Good Luck Chuck." Instead, roles will be reversed and I am passing the torch to the last guy I dated and no, we are actually not friends...which is why this works really well...he will now be Good Luck Chuck...mwahahaha
If you would like to join me...I am getting together with a group of friends on this wonderful day of October 10...downtown Chicago...to celebrate the passing of the torch. Good-bye Good Luck Chuck status...bring on the Mrs. degree. :)
13.9.09
back to school
School is back in session (not the cause of my lack of blogging however). This begins year number five at the same school and I can honestly say that I did miss the students. Things have gotten off to a really great start but if I blogged about how perfect everything was, well, that would get quite boring. Instead, I choose to tell you two stories...
...one...
It is my fifth year at the same school so one might think that I know the students really well. I do. Usually I only need to meet and learn the names of both incoming kindergarten classes as well as a handful of new students, possibly one or two per class/grade. Sixty plus kids to meet and learn...piece of cake. We also have many, many siblings at the school which also makes learning names really easy.
While teaching sixth grade, I had asked the students what they knew about Pop Art. Show off that I am, I didn't use my grade book or a list of student names to call on students to answer questions. Confidently I called on Maria. "Yes Maria..." Maria looked at me funny and said "Juan." Only about two seconds later did it register and I realized that I had called sixth grade Juan by his third grade sister's name, Maria. Yikes, how embarrassing...for both. It was an honest mistake...Maria and Juan both look very similar in the face (you can tell they are related) and for some unknown reason, they both have the same haircut. Maria's is very short for a girl and Juan's is very long for a boy :)
...two...
In fifth grade, we have started making our mixed media me books. In these books, I require students to have an acrostic poem...something they have been doing since first grade at this school. Since they have been composing acrostic poems for so long, they basically have memorized which one word answers go with each letter of their name. Boring! For art class, I put a little twist on it. One word answers aren't allowed and students actually have to tell me something about themselves instead of Awesome Nice Neat Elephants. Being the wonderful teacher that I am, I do a think aloud with the students and my name and the end result looks something like this:
Art teacher to elementary students
Neat and ALWAYS organized
Never one to let someone down
Excellent tennis player
Believes in fairy tales
Elephants are my favorite because they never forget
Literary lover and avid reader
Lucky to have such wonderful friends and family
Of course with the fifth grade boys B had to be pointed out. "Ms. Bell, what do you mean you believe in fairy tales? Aren't you a little old for that?" Me "Prince Charming is on his way...he's just not here yet." Girls in unison "awe *sigh*."
...one...
It is my fifth year at the same school so one might think that I know the students really well. I do. Usually I only need to meet and learn the names of both incoming kindergarten classes as well as a handful of new students, possibly one or two per class/grade. Sixty plus kids to meet and learn...piece of cake. We also have many, many siblings at the school which also makes learning names really easy.
While teaching sixth grade, I had asked the students what they knew about Pop Art. Show off that I am, I didn't use my grade book or a list of student names to call on students to answer questions. Confidently I called on Maria. "Yes Maria..." Maria looked at me funny and said "Juan." Only about two seconds later did it register and I realized that I had called sixth grade Juan by his third grade sister's name, Maria. Yikes, how embarrassing...for both. It was an honest mistake...Maria and Juan both look very similar in the face (you can tell they are related) and for some unknown reason, they both have the same haircut. Maria's is very short for a girl and Juan's is very long for a boy :)
...two...
In fifth grade, we have started making our mixed media me books. In these books, I require students to have an acrostic poem...something they have been doing since first grade at this school. Since they have been composing acrostic poems for so long, they basically have memorized which one word answers go with each letter of their name. Boring! For art class, I put a little twist on it. One word answers aren't allowed and students actually have to tell me something about themselves instead of Awesome Nice Neat Elephants. Being the wonderful teacher that I am, I do a think aloud with the students and my name and the end result looks something like this:
Art teacher to elementary students
Neat and ALWAYS organized
Never one to let someone down
Excellent tennis player
Believes in fairy tales
Elephants are my favorite because they never forget
Literary lover and avid reader
Lucky to have such wonderful friends and family
Of course with the fifth grade boys B had to be pointed out. "Ms. Bell, what do you mean you believe in fairy tales? Aren't you a little old for that?" Me "Prince Charming is on his way...he's just not here yet." Girls in unison "awe *sigh*."
25.6.09
what if...
Again with Memoirs of a Geisha...
From this experience I understood the danger of focusing my life on what isn't there. What if I came to the end of my life and realized that I'd spent every day watching for a man who would never come to me? What an unbearable sorrow it would be, to realize I'd never really tasted the things I'd eaten, or seen the places I'd been, because I'd thought of nothing but the Chairman even while my life was drifting away from me. And yet if I drew my thoughts back from him, what life would I have? I would be like a dancer who had practiced since childhood for a performance she would never give.
It seems that a lot of the time we are waiting for things to happen. Everything from waiting to go to the gym, waiting until Friday night, waiting until the next paycheck, waiting for...well, you name it...we are always waiting for something. I'm using this passage as a little reminder...mainly to myself...to stop waiting for whatever it is I am waiting for and to experience life now...as it comes...no matter what. Time to stop worrying about what might happen...about the what ifs. No one needs the what ifs. They are what ifs because it didn't happen.
From this experience I understood the danger of focusing my life on what isn't there. What if I came to the end of my life and realized that I'd spent every day watching for a man who would never come to me? What an unbearable sorrow it would be, to realize I'd never really tasted the things I'd eaten, or seen the places I'd been, because I'd thought of nothing but the Chairman even while my life was drifting away from me. And yet if I drew my thoughts back from him, what life would I have? I would be like a dancer who had practiced since childhood for a performance she would never give.
It seems that a lot of the time we are waiting for things to happen. Everything from waiting to go to the gym, waiting until Friday night, waiting until the next paycheck, waiting for...well, you name it...we are always waiting for something. I'm using this passage as a little reminder...mainly to myself...to stop waiting for whatever it is I am waiting for and to experience life now...as it comes...no matter what. Time to stop worrying about what might happen...about the what ifs. No one needs the what ifs. They are what ifs because it didn't happen.
24.6.09
an en
An en is a karmic bond lasting a lifetime. Nowadays many people seem to believe their lives are entirely a matter of choice; but in my day we viewed ourselves as pieces of clay that forever show the fingerprints of everyone who has touched them. Nobu's touch had made a deeper impression on me than most. No one had always sensed the en between us. Somewhere in the landscape of my life Nobu would always be present. But could it really be that of all the lessons I'd learned, the hardest one lay just ahead of me? Would I really have to take each of my hopes and put them away where no one would ever see them again, where not even I would ever see them?
I am currently reading...eh em...listening to Memoirs of a Geisha and have found quite a few of Sayuri's views of life to be touching, thought provoking, and well...meaningful. Take the passage above for example. We always hear, and many of us use, the cliche of being touched by someone...in the metaphorical sense of course. But the visual of us being made of clay and that everyone we meet has placed at least a fingerprint upon us is quite powerful. Sayuri mentions that we now think that it is the choices we make that shape us...but couldn't it, very well, be a combination of the two? I have made plenty of choices in my life that have lead me to one place or another but it is the people I have met that have shaped my experiences. I would even go so far as to say that it is the people I have met who have shaped me...my personality, my future choices, my reactions to life's happenings, etc. Good or bad, I believe that the choices we make happen to be part of our destiny (another term used quite frequently in the book)...we will experience the same events and meet the same people along our given path but because of our choices, it is up to us to decide when these encounters will actually occur.
Speaking of destiny...
Neither you nor I can know your destiny. You may never know it! Destiny isn't always like a party at the end of the evening. Sometimes it's nothing more than struggling through life from day to day.
Again, it has to be our choices in life that help shape our destiny...maybe we won't always get the party...and what if it is a daily struggle?...but that just means we need to slightly change or rather make more careful decisions regarding our choices. On the other hand...sometimes the careful decisions are what's creating life's little difficulties. In that respect, maybe it is good to make decisions in a fly by the seat of your pants mode every once in a while...keep destiny on her toes :)
Back to the first passage where Sayuri mentions hope...
Would I really have to take each of my hopes and put them away where no one would ever see them again, where not even I would ever see them?
In life, I don't think it is ever about hiding your hopes but instead...as said by Dave Matthews in the song Ants Marching...Take these chances, place them in a box until a quieter time, lights down you up and die. It is your responsibility to remember your hopes and to bring them out of hiding when the chance presents itself. If it looks like the time will not come...make the time happen by changing your choices and therefore rerouting your destiny. It is only if you have forgotten your hopes and keep them locked away in a secret place that they will ever become lost.
I am currently reading...eh em...listening to Memoirs of a Geisha and have found quite a few of Sayuri's views of life to be touching, thought provoking, and well...meaningful. Take the passage above for example. We always hear, and many of us use, the cliche of being touched by someone...in the metaphorical sense of course. But the visual of us being made of clay and that everyone we meet has placed at least a fingerprint upon us is quite powerful. Sayuri mentions that we now think that it is the choices we make that shape us...but couldn't it, very well, be a combination of the two? I have made plenty of choices in my life that have lead me to one place or another but it is the people I have met that have shaped my experiences. I would even go so far as to say that it is the people I have met who have shaped me...my personality, my future choices, my reactions to life's happenings, etc. Good or bad, I believe that the choices we make happen to be part of our destiny (another term used quite frequently in the book)...we will experience the same events and meet the same people along our given path but because of our choices, it is up to us to decide when these encounters will actually occur.
Speaking of destiny...
Neither you nor I can know your destiny. You may never know it! Destiny isn't always like a party at the end of the evening. Sometimes it's nothing more than struggling through life from day to day.
Again, it has to be our choices in life that help shape our destiny...maybe we won't always get the party...and what if it is a daily struggle?...but that just means we need to slightly change or rather make more careful decisions regarding our choices. On the other hand...sometimes the careful decisions are what's creating life's little difficulties. In that respect, maybe it is good to make decisions in a fly by the seat of your pants mode every once in a while...keep destiny on her toes :)
Back to the first passage where Sayuri mentions hope...
Would I really have to take each of my hopes and put them away where no one would ever see them again, where not even I would ever see them?
In life, I don't think it is ever about hiding your hopes but instead...as said by Dave Matthews in the song Ants Marching...Take these chances, place them in a box until a quieter time, lights down you up and die. It is your responsibility to remember your hopes and to bring them out of hiding when the chance presents itself. If it looks like the time will not come...make the time happen by changing your choices and therefore rerouting your destiny. It is only if you have forgotten your hopes and keep them locked away in a secret place that they will ever become lost.
6.5.09
one...two...
three...rrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiippppppppppppppppp
The day my pants had a civil war and the right successfully split from the left.
Background: Friday...beautiful outside...playing around with kindergarteners before class...wearing old comfortable pants that couldn't bear to take the strain of one more squat...
Favorite kindergartener this year, Milton, jumped into my arms as soon as I walked in the door to kindergarten. Javier, refused to get up from nap...so the only logical thing to do was to fake drop Milton onto Javier...one...two...three...rrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiipppppppppppp.
After quickly backing into the kindergarten girls bathroom, Ms. Rodriguez my hero came back with a pair of kid pants that happened to be too wide and too short. Thank goodness I was able to roll the top twice then keep the pants up with a scarf that had been draped as decoration around my neck. Some might say that I looked like I was ready for a walk down the beach. Sometimes you have to roll with the punches...laugh at yourself...then share the laughter with everyone you know!
The day my pants had a civil war and the right successfully split from the left.
Background: Friday...beautiful outside...playing around with kindergarteners before class...wearing old comfortable pants that couldn't bear to take the strain of one more squat...
Favorite kindergartener this year, Milton, jumped into my arms as soon as I walked in the door to kindergarten. Javier, refused to get up from nap...so the only logical thing to do was to fake drop Milton onto Javier...one...two...three...rrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiipppppppppppp.
After quickly backing into the kindergarten girls bathroom, Ms. Rodriguez my hero came back with a pair of kid pants that happened to be too wide and too short. Thank goodness I was able to roll the top twice then keep the pants up with a scarf that had been draped as decoration around my neck. Some might say that I looked like I was ready for a walk down the beach. Sometimes you have to roll with the punches...laugh at yourself...then share the laughter with everyone you know!
a little of this and that
On my quest/search for my perfect match, I have come to realize that Mr. Whomever-He-Might-Be has got some pretty big shoes to fill. Not because my past boyfriends have been so extremely wonderful...there is a reason they carry the ex title...but because I see such wonderfulness in my friends boyfriends, fiancés, and husbands. Please don't take this the wrong way, the men in my friends' lives are perfect fits for each of my friends...not me...however, each one of these men have qualities that I am wishing to find in my Mr. Right.
Like in the movie Practical Magic I wish I could take a little bit of this and a little bit of that from each of my friends' perfect partners to make mine.
Young Sally: He will hear my call a mile away, he will whistle my favorite song, he can ride a pony backwards-
Young Gilly: What are you doing?
Young Sally: I'm summoning up a true love spell called amas veritas, he can flip pancakes in the air, he will be marvelously kind, and his favorite shape will be a star. And he'll have one green eye, one blue.
Young Gilly: I thought you never wanted to fall in love.
Young Sally: That's the point. The guy I dreamed up doesn't exist, and if he doesn't exist, I'll never die of a broken heart.
The only difference being that I do want to fall in love...the really good kind...which reminds me of another Practical Magic quote...
Do you ever put your arms out and spin and spin and spin? Well, that's what love is like. Makes your heart race, turns your world upside down. But if you're not careful, if you don't keep your eyes on something still, you can lose your balance. You can't see what's happening to the people around you...you can't see that you're about to fall...
I want...a husband I can't stop kissing. Btw, my favorite about all of these quotes is that Sally Sandra Bullock does meet this man that she didn't think existed and fell head over heels in love. It will happen to me too...it's just not quite ready to happen...yet.
With that nice long intro...here are the qualities that I would like to put together to make my impossible man. Note to friends: don't worry if your boyfriend, fiancés, or husband is not mentioned...I probably forgot how amazing they are :)
...a little of this...and a little of that...
Neal-not only his incredible Cubs season tickets which he so generously allows me to purchase occasionally but his overall love for sports and ability to care about his wife's friends and his sense of humor
Ted-not afraid to take on a project or to share his hobbies with the woman he loves
Dan-wanting for nothing more than to reflect on old memories and make new...better ones
Braun-the need to have his fiancé with him in any event whether it is trying a new experience or repeating the same mundane tasks of everyday life...needing her almost like air to breathe
Adam-the ability to switch gears in a second from sports crazy maniac to gentle compassionate friend
Ben-the security of who he is which allows for his wife to be secure in herself and her decisions...the ability to be independent with someone you love
Will-his dedication and loyalty to everyone he cares about...friends, family, etc. also his inability to lie
Tony-the comfort of knowing you are everything to your wife and she is everything to you...oh yeah, and his raunchy sense of humor which turns you beet red while laughing your pants off
Kevin-sharing the love of a hobby like camping, hiking, training for a half marathon so completely with his wife that the two are essentially one
Matt-having fun at every turn, letting things roll off his back with the greatest of ease, and his patience with kids
The men in my friend's lives have made them incredibly happy. It seems that I am always building my friends up...now it's time to thank their better halves for my friends have only gotten better, more complete since these men have come into their lives. Thank you...now it's my turn :)
Like in the movie Practical Magic I wish I could take a little bit of this and a little bit of that from each of my friends' perfect partners to make mine.
Young Sally: He will hear my call a mile away, he will whistle my favorite song, he can ride a pony backwards-
Young Gilly: What are you doing?
Young Sally: I'm summoning up a true love spell called amas veritas, he can flip pancakes in the air, he will be marvelously kind, and his favorite shape will be a star. And he'll have one green eye, one blue.
Young Gilly: I thought you never wanted to fall in love.
Young Sally: That's the point. The guy I dreamed up doesn't exist, and if he doesn't exist, I'll never die of a broken heart.
The only difference being that I do want to fall in love...the really good kind...which reminds me of another Practical Magic quote...
Do you ever put your arms out and spin and spin and spin? Well, that's what love is like. Makes your heart race, turns your world upside down. But if you're not careful, if you don't keep your eyes on something still, you can lose your balance. You can't see what's happening to the people around you...you can't see that you're about to fall...
I want...a husband I can't stop kissing. Btw, my favorite about all of these quotes is that Sally Sandra Bullock does meet this man that she didn't think existed and fell head over heels in love. It will happen to me too...it's just not quite ready to happen...yet.
With that nice long intro...here are the qualities that I would like to put together to make my impossible man. Note to friends: don't worry if your boyfriend, fiancés, or husband is not mentioned...I probably forgot how amazing they are :)
...a little of this...and a little of that...
Neal-not only his incredible Cubs season tickets which he so generously allows me to purchase occasionally but his overall love for sports and ability to care about his wife's friends and his sense of humor
Ted-not afraid to take on a project or to share his hobbies with the woman he loves
Dan-wanting for nothing more than to reflect on old memories and make new...better ones
Braun-the need to have his fiancé with him in any event whether it is trying a new experience or repeating the same mundane tasks of everyday life...needing her almost like air to breathe
Adam-the ability to switch gears in a second from sports crazy maniac to gentle compassionate friend
Ben-the security of who he is which allows for his wife to be secure in herself and her decisions...the ability to be independent with someone you love
Will-his dedication and loyalty to everyone he cares about...friends, family, etc. also his inability to lie
Tony-the comfort of knowing you are everything to your wife and she is everything to you...oh yeah, and his raunchy sense of humor which turns you beet red while laughing your pants off
Kevin-sharing the love of a hobby like camping, hiking, training for a half marathon so completely with his wife that the two are essentially one
Matt-having fun at every turn, letting things roll off his back with the greatest of ease, and his patience with kids
The men in my friend's lives have made them incredibly happy. It seems that I am always building my friends up...now it's time to thank their better halves for my friends have only gotten better, more complete since these men have come into their lives. Thank you...now it's my turn :)
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